I think I have mentioned in this space before, just how I feel about bugs. Well, I had another encounter last night. This time with two huge "houseflies" and one wasp. All three were pure black, so I tried to convince myself that they were all harmless variations of the fruit-fly theme.
Just so I didn't cower in the corner crying.
Especially since they managed to evade all my attacks. No, I had to turn off the lights (because if I left one on, they would be guaranteed to hover around it all night) and try to get some sleep.
It didn't work very well.
I woke up every two hours. Sometimes because I actually heard them buzzing around my room. Sometimes because in my dreams they morphed into huge bug colonies that were after me. About 4AM I actually managed to bring down one of the beasts with some bug spray. It was of the housefly variety.
Anyway, I was not sad to leave the house the next day. Upon my return, I was making the usual weekend calls to the family, and while I was on the phone with my sister I looked up and saw the wasp sitting on one of my curtains nearby.
In the fight against bugs, curtains are expendable collateral.
The bug spray was again the weapon of choice. Of course, I didn't want it turning around and charging me, so I applied liberally. It crawled further up the curtains, trying to buzz off the wet from its wings. Finally, it fell and conducted its death throws on the window sill while I yelled, "Die! Die! Die!"
Still freaked out by the whole business, I decided to get my insect book and try to learn more about my worthy oponents. For some reason, I had gotten it into my head that flies were usually harmless, and wasps were usually nasty. Turns out they're both demons from hell sent forth. The only real difference is that wasps sting and flies bite. The big "houseflies" probably could have taken a chunk out of my arm if they wanted to.
See, I always think that if I learn more about something, I will be less frightened of it. But in this case, the only comfort I could glean from my newfound knowledge was that neither of these things were likely to be tse-tse flies, carrying dengue fever.
Books: I'm trying to write a harmless little flirtation scene amongst teenagers - from the guy's point of view. Turns out that very different things are going on in the minds of boys and girls when they flirt with each other. My first reader sent me back for a rewrite. His advice? Have you ever watched South Park? You know who Tweak is?
Just so I didn't cower in the corner crying.
Especially since they managed to evade all my attacks. No, I had to turn off the lights (because if I left one on, they would be guaranteed to hover around it all night) and try to get some sleep.
It didn't work very well.
I woke up every two hours. Sometimes because I actually heard them buzzing around my room. Sometimes because in my dreams they morphed into huge bug colonies that were after me. About 4AM I actually managed to bring down one of the beasts with some bug spray. It was of the housefly variety.
Anyway, I was not sad to leave the house the next day. Upon my return, I was making the usual weekend calls to the family, and while I was on the phone with my sister I looked up and saw the wasp sitting on one of my curtains nearby.
In the fight against bugs, curtains are expendable collateral.
The bug spray was again the weapon of choice. Of course, I didn't want it turning around and charging me, so I applied liberally. It crawled further up the curtains, trying to buzz off the wet from its wings. Finally, it fell and conducted its death throws on the window sill while I yelled, "Die! Die! Die!"
Still freaked out by the whole business, I decided to get my insect book and try to learn more about my worthy oponents. For some reason, I had gotten it into my head that flies were usually harmless, and wasps were usually nasty. Turns out they're both demons from hell sent forth. The only real difference is that wasps sting and flies bite. The big "houseflies" probably could have taken a chunk out of my arm if they wanted to.
See, I always think that if I learn more about something, I will be less frightened of it. But in this case, the only comfort I could glean from my newfound knowledge was that neither of these things were likely to be tse-tse flies, carrying dengue fever.
Books: I'm trying to write a harmless little flirtation scene amongst teenagers - from the guy's point of view. Turns out that very different things are going on in the minds of boys and girls when they flirt with each other. My first reader sent me back for a rewrite. His advice? Have you ever watched South Park? You know who Tweak is?
