My brain is kind of fried tonight. Summer has started in earnest - and I'm not brainfried from the heat. It's the busy season at my dayjob. The phone rings off the hook, I multitask six things at once, and stay at work until almost midnight. At least I have something to show for it today. Take a look at this site: Official New Show Web Site

Books: Write? I haven't been doing enough this week. I've been doing research - er, watching a lot of cable while I catsit. Monk is good.

I got a googlewhack today! Woo! I've been trying off and on for about a year, usually having lousy luck. But today, with a little inspiration from a friend, I found one --

kleptocracy cucumber

There is only one page on the entire internet that has those two words on it. How cool is that?

For those of you who don't know what googlewhacking is - it's this game for those of us who search the internet too much. We use google (a popular internet search engine) to find wacky combinations of words that have only a single search result. You can read more about it here: www.googlewhack.com or you can go see my contribution to the list here.

Nothing of interest to report from my day job.

Books: Research is good. It makes my writing better. Chapter 17 (brand new for version 1.0 of my novel) is done and I think it's ok. I hope it doesn't wander too much, and gives the reader a little breather from all the exciting stuff happening in the last five chapters. Pacing is really hard for me at this stage. I feel like I'm planning a racecourse, but I can only move in slow-motion, so I can't tell when the runners will need a downhill stretch or a flat space so they won't drop dead before the finish line. I'm going to have to finish this rewrite, and then go back to the beginning and read the whole thing straight through, just to see how the pacing goes. I hate people who can write books perfectly the first time.

I went to a wedding today. The bride was the last of my close friends from college to take the plunge. It was elegant and moving. It was also attended by two lovely old broads who made snide comments the whole way through - some loud enough for the minister to hear. I adopted them. (Actually, I've heard stories about them for years from my college friend. I hadn't quite realized just how much of a kick in the pants they really were until this wedding.)

It was an outdoor wedding, and they encouraged me to wear shades - even though I had to stand up in front of everybody and read Shakespeare. They also encouraged me to "forget" the edits that the minister had encouraged in the sonnet. (I'm sorry... love is not love that changes when it change finds? This is not poetry.)

So I did. Just for them.

One nice touch - we were spared some of the sweltering heat by lovely little white folding fans placed on each seat. It was kind of funny to look around and see who actually knew how to use one. I had no idea it was such a lost art. Also, I got to give a 5-second dancing lesson to one of the brides maids who found out at the last minute that she couldn't avoid going out on the dance floor with a groomsman. Apparently my fascination with Jane Austen has done me some good.

Books: I've been too busy getting ready for this wedding to get much writing done. I hate it when life gets in the way of my fiction. (But - if you're reading this after you return from Scotland, I'm still very happy for you, my friend.)

This is the world we live in.

At www.novica.com you can buy paintings done by elephants.

They say elephants in the wild doodle on the ground with sticks and pebbles. And once they are trained to use a paintbrush with their trunk they really enjoy it.

Their human trainers put titles on the paintings and sell them for $330 and put the money toward elephant conservation.

I'm sure this sends a message, I'm just not exactly sure what it is.

Books: I am now the proud owner of Cause of Death: A Writer's Guide to Death, Murder and Forensic Medicine and Rip-Off: A Writer's Guide to Crimes of Deception. Oh - and Absolutely Positively Alexander: The Complete Stories for when I have a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

For those of you keeping track, the Amazon package arrived today.

Chicago Tribune | It's not your imagination, weeds really have gone wild

Hey look! It's not just me. The Chicago Tribune says that there really are more weeds this year because of the weird weather.

Does UPS recycle tracking numbers every 2 years?
Did someone in the UPS Delaware office just wake up from a 2-year coma?
Is this proof of time travel?
Did it take Amazon 2 years to get my package sent?

You decide:

Ship Method: UPS
Tracking Number: 1Z38EW250372984116
Status: IN TRANSIT
Shipment Date: Jul 29, 2000
Destination: CHICAGO, IL, US
Date Time Location Service Area Checkpoint Details

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jul 10, 2002 02:54:11 AM US BILLING INFORMATION RECEIVED
Jul 29, 2000 10:48:33 AM NEW CASTLE DE US SHIPPED

And of course, the biggest question of the day - in what year will I receive my package?

tonypierce.com no tying in baseball

Jason sent me this link. You must click it, then click the picture (and the next one, and the next one)

Those of you who love baseball will see a kindred soul.

Those of you who wondered what all the fuss was about over the weekend, involving baseball, will get a great explanation.

I'm tired. I'm sick. (Honest, took a sick day yesterday, spent today in doctors offices) And I'm still at work at 9:32pm. Grr.

Books: Why are the most important things in life crowded out by the multitude of least important things?

When I watch documentaries about hospitals I get hypochondriacal.
Bleagh.
Remind me not to do that.
Is my liver functioning correctly?

Books: Well, four out of five chapters passed muster today. "Do with this one what you did to those others." Oh, you mean write a novel instead of a screenplay? Shucks.

I made two skirts today. It's nice to discover that my sewing skills haven't completely atrophied. My sewing machine is a little cranky, though. It kept breaking my thread and refuses to do a zig-zag stitch. I'm trying to decide if it would be cheaper to have it repaired, or to just buy a new one.

I did discover that it worked better when I oiled it. Funny that.

So why am I sewing skirts? Well, one of them was a practice skirt. I have a formal event to attend in a few weeks, and for some reason I'm incapable of just going out and buying a perfectly good dress. I always have to piece things together from various places and sew things when I have to go to a formal event. I guess that means I'm always wearing designer gowns, right? At least I don't have to worry about people showing up in the same dress as me.

Books: I finished chapter 16! At last! I kept falling asleep the last few nights when I tried to finish it. Not that it's boring (I hope). It's just that I rewrote it many many times for the first pass through this book, and it's kind of daunting to pick it up again. But it's done now! It can get read by my first-draft reader and commented on. Hopefully it won't require huge edits. Then I can print it out and give chapters (at last!) to Sarah.

Wow, I'm connected at 45333. The fastest I've ever gotten before was 42000. The modem squeal was new and different.

I should mention the fireworks. There are many. Very close. After getting the distinct feeling that I was in a war zone, I retreated to my office (under the stairs... no real windows.... shielded on two sides by brick walls... the closest thing to a bunker I have.) From here it just sounds like an army of woodpeckers trying to get in my front door.

Driving home last night I got a great view of the city fireworks over the city skyline. I think I like them best when they are so far away they're silent.

Spent some time in my garden tonight. My sworn enemy is morning glory. My moto is: Thou shalt not allow weeds to go to seed.

You see, that's like calling in the reinforcements. I have to be vigilant against their forward guard so that the reinforcements never arrive - just the ones that are hiding right now. And they can hide for a while, but eventually they'll send up their little green flags and I'll see them. See them, and rip them out of the territory they've claimed. Then I'll swoop in and put my own troops in behind them.

It may last years, but I'll win this war yet.

Books: Still haven't got 16 rewritten yet. Realized 11 still needed another pass. Maybe tonight I'll get to 16. Who knows.